Monday, February 29, 2016

Look, up in the sky!

Able to leap tall Februarys
in a single bound!

You get another day.
Do something with it.

eBay UK Seller pakrat3

Sunday, February 28, 2016

And the winner is.....

There is no winner yet.
Joyce still doesn't have a name.
Name the creepy doll head and 
we'll send you one of your very own.
In the meantime, sharpen your white crayons
and catch the Academy Awards tonight. 

Send your name suggestions to us using the contact form over there

Saturday, February 27, 2016

From the WTF? files

Would you use these
salt and pepper shakers? 

We'll leave this here without further commentary. 

Etsy seller hiphuggie

Friday, February 26, 2016

So he has a dirty mouth

Something mesmerizing here.
If this is a boy, he's going to grow up 
and break many a heart. Those flaring nostrils, those soulful eyes, and that whisper of a mouth. 
Whew, turn on the AC. It's getting warm in here.
If this is a girl, she's gonna be a ho.

It's gotta be a boy.


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Close your dayumed mouth

Labeled as Baby Alive
but I see baby dead
baby eyeless
baby creeping me the frick out. 
I have no idea why she is on a jar of what looks like pencil shavings.
And is that a cord coming out her ass? 
I'm not sure I want to know any more about this one.
I can feel the ick coming at me through the keys as I type.

eBay seller classyredneckcrafts

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

It's frickin cold enough to....

Well, I think the saying is that it's cold enough to crack your face.
Unfortunately, this chick's face is cracked,
her eyes are ratchet,
her outfit is in rags, 
but thankfully for her, 
her eyebrows are on fleek. Whew. 


Monday, February 22, 2016

Bright eyes and tea pots

I'm a little teapot short and stout.
This my handle, this is my spout.
When you tip me over, I will shout
Sock it to me baby, let it all hang out. 
Or I'll get really pissed off
and spew at you
really hot tea
on your cold shoe.
I'm not a nice teapot. 

No attribution for this photo is available. 
If it's yours, let me know and I'll credit you immediately. 

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Peel me a grape. Ooops, they're not grapes.

If she had gone with a smokey eye,
we might have given this a #FashionPolice 
best dressed. Oooh baby.
I'm a sucker for flora and fauna heads. 


Saturday, February 20, 2016

You need these lamps, oh yes you do

I thought I'd Google creepy doll butt lamps. Okay, I didn't really, but there is one!

When I saw this lamp, I knew there was a kindred spirit out there somewhere. Blumhouse did a fun article on the lamps and their creator, and I hear that one was gifted to a studio head. Could these replace the leg with fishnet lamps?

On Little Britain, we are treated to a character named Daffyd Thomas, the only gay in the village (Matt Lucas). He wears his had just so and this lamp reminds me of him, even with the little pink bow. 

And then there's this little lady? I feel like meditating on one foot. The bulb globe on top of the head with the fluff and matching fluff at the neck along with those serene eyes...oooohhhhmmmmmm.
Wait, maybe I'm just high.

We've shown you just a few examples of Cindy's work. I highly recommend you head over to her Etsy page - We're going to link her page on the front page of - she's earned it, eh?

Enjoy the creep!

Friday, February 19, 2016

Where my pole at?

Where my pole?
Where my tassels? 
I'm ready to dance, fools!
Get your dollah bills ready.

eBay seller mombatch

Thursday, February 18, 2016

What's that you say?

Who, it's who, not what!
Owl take it under advisement.

Don't forget to help us name the mascot!

My Owl Barn

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Sadness at Aldi

My human
didn't have a quarter, 
so she left me in exchange for the cart.
Then the skanky ho
forgot me. 
Thanks, Aldi. 


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I got my eye on you

You need to know
that when I shoot this kind of shade
you're about to get 
my not resting bitch face.
Back it up.


Monday, February 15, 2016


Please to help me
I have eaten too much Valentine's Day candy
falling in a ditch
and cannot get out.

Please to give this head a hand? 

Oh yeah, happy President's Day.

Etsy seller mattziekattzie

Sunday, February 14, 2016

That beach!

I meant to say

Happy Valentine's Day
from Barbie and some really creepy dude at the beach

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Ever so dreamy and a man for all seasons

Hey baby, 
wanna be my Valentine? 
I got some candy right here
in my mouf for you. 
Aw naw, don't be turning me down.
Gonna make me get all angry inside.
And trust me, you don't want that.

No attribution for this photo is available. 
If it's yours, let me know and I'll credit you immediately. 

Friday, February 12, 2016

Getting her hair did

Lovely gal
up in the woods
looking for a feller
needs to get
a Valentine
so hair goes pink from yeller.

Not yet, baby doll.
Not yet. 


Thursday, February 11, 2016

Wanna chaw?

Great way to quit smoking,
this chaw business.
And it won't make you nervous.
Your CreepMeister quit smoking a while ago
and this is even too creepy for her.
A baby selling tobackie. 
And it's not even whacky.
No, baby, no. 
The funny thing is, this looks like a very bald
older guy in miniature form - wonder
if his growth was stunted from all
the smokes? 

Visual News

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


Behold the spry wood nymph
See how she frolics,
how she embraces the day.
See how she expresses
her insides through her navel. 
Yes, see the joy in her eyes
and the ....
...wait, is this a zombie Barbie?
Never mind. 

Wonder if she knows it's Ash Wednesday?

IntrovertedWife (Bonus tutorial!)

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Show your tatas! I'll throw you beads!

Okay, so this lady has no tatas.
But she has enough beads
to qualify
for Mardi Gras, don't you think?

No attribution for this photo is available. 
If it's yours, let me know and I'll credit you immediately. 

Monday, February 8, 2016

There's always a way

There's a creepy doll head for every occasion.
It's Chinese New Year y'all.
Get your dragon thingie on and honor family and dance and stuff. 
Oh yeah, and smile. 


Sunday, February 7, 2016

It's Stupidbowl time again!

This kid is ready for some football.
She has that side eye that makes me nervous, though.
Wonder how she's gonna be after
some brew and chili?
You go, football girl.
Get crazy.
Cam and Peyton won't mind.

Mutant Frog

Saturday, February 6, 2016

A look into the future

This is that guy.
The one that comes to your superbowl party and drinks all  your beer,
eats all your chili,
gets trashed, puts on a lampshade,
and sits in the corner picking his nose.

You know he'll be there. 
There's one at every gathering.

Friday, February 5, 2016

I'm Peter Pan, bitch

I'm not sure this is what
the casting director had in mind
when they asked for
a flying boy who never grows up.

Not gonna say a word, though.
This Pan looks like he'd fluck you up.


Thursday, February 4, 2016

iPhones don't work this way

Remember when you just wanted to hang the phone up
on your head?
Yeah, I don't either. 

No attribution for this photo is available. 
If it's yours, let me know and I'll credit you immediately. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Smug sumbich

Yeah, so you're a theramin
that doesn't make you
better than me.

This is one smug doll head

Worst Things for Sale

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Shadow or no shadow?

Looks like the groundhog, we mean doll head
has seen her shadow.

6 more weeks of winter for you, dammit.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Guess what?

No! Not that, but chicken butts are hilarious.
This creepy doll is delighted to announce that we're back on the air.

Got a creep to share? Holla. 

Doll - No attribution for the photo. Yours? Let me know and I'll credit you immediately.